


your heartbeat is a rhythm i yearn to hear

by bisexualbarry



Series: survivor’s guide: how to live (and love) during an apocalypse [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Flash (TV 2014), The Last of Us
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, Childhood Friends, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Minor Violence, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Zombie Apocalypse, i think, i tried not to go too in detail, possible ooc, well a little bit tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 13:54:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18874540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualbarry/pseuds/bisexualbarry
Summary: After managing to get out of the bad situation Carol found herself in, she never expected for some things to go back to how they were.Like, for example, having Natasha back in her life.





	your heartbeat is a rhythm i yearn to hear

**Author's Note:**

> this is, quite possibly, the worst thing ive ever written. LMAO. i hope this doesnt sound too much the same as the other ones. im trying for SOME different stuff, lmao
> 
> **you dont have to read the other fics to understand what happens in this**
> 
> [here is a link to a youtube video explaining what exactly the infection is.](https://youtu.be/Z4nfEq8GQzo) it’s about seven minutes, and it does a great job in explaining what it does, how it effects humans, how it spreads, etc (:

The fire in front of her was in danger of dying out. They used the last of the paper they had scrounged up from the last house to keep it lit, but Carol wasn't sure how much longer it'd keep going. She was the only one currently awake, as it was, so she didn't see the point in gathering more firewood if she herself didn't want to keep it going.

The sound of crickets filled the air, and for a brief moment, Carol allowed the sound to wash over her. If she pretended enough, it was almost as if she wasn't living every day scared that it would be her last. She was born mere months after the initial outbreak, teetering on the latter half of seventeen. After her parents died and left her in the Zone, she grew up amongst the other abandoned children. A boarding school teaching her how to survive and kill others to live. Carol didn't exactly enjoy ending others' lives, but it wasn't as if she had no other choice. She'd been doing it her whole life, and she'd keep doing it until she took her last breath.

When she was sixteen, she escaped the Zone in a fit of anger and curiosity. No one told her it'd be harder getting back in than it was leaving. The guards had taken one look at her and nearly shot her if she hadn't gotten away. For months, she had wandered the country before a friendly enough group of people spotted her. They had almost killed her if it hadn't been for one of the leaders taking pity on her. Similar to boarding school, she learned how to fight.

As it turned out, the people who had took her in were a group of hunters. There were more men than women in the group, and Carol had quickly learned how to hold her own against them. She had to witness them slaughtering so called "tourists" for their stuff and store it all in a store room.

With the fire nearly out, Carol let out a sigh before standing up. She was on solo guard duty for the night. There hadn't been any tourists coming through for weeks, and it left a few of the others a bit on edge. Carol didn't want to prove anything to any of them, so if any tourists came through when she was on solo duty, she just let them through without a word. Everybody was none the wiser for it, making Carol internally pleased with herself. Distantly, she could hear the sound of an engine as the vehicle drove closer. Peering out towards the sound, Carol strained her eyes for any hints of the vehicle. When she spotted it, her eyes widened in recognition at the logo spray painted onto the doors.

"Get up! Fireflies!" she shouted, whacking a branch against the metal container that held the fire.

Everything seemed to happen at once.

The jeep drove over their barricades, sending debris flying every which way and had Carol ducking for cover behind an old couch. Guns rang out around her, one nicking her as it went through the couch. Cursing under her breath, Carol pulled out her gun and aimed at the nearest firefly, freezing at the sight.

"Val?"

Carol didn't have much time to question it because shortly after, a bullet pierced her shoulder. She cried out, hand uselessly covering the injury as she tried to stop the bleeding. Pressing her lips together, Carol hid behind the couch as the rest of the shootout continued. As soon as it stopped, Carol peered around her at the dead hunters.

"I think that's all of them," a male voice spoke up, sounding not far away from where she was hiding.

"I recognized one," the familiar voice of Valkyrie said, footsteps accompanying the words as she walked closer. Peering around the couch, Valkyrie's eyes widened when she saw the still alive Carol behind the couch. "Fuck sake, I knew I wasn't imaging you."

Carol was pulled to her feet by Valkyrie before finding herself in a hug. Despite the injury, Carol was quick to return it, soaking up the warmth of the familiarity.

"Val, what the hell are you doing?" the same male voice from earlier asked.

"This is Carol. I knew her from the Atlanta QZ," Valkyrie explained. "I haven't seen you since I joined the fireflies."

"I left the QZ a year after you did." Carol bit her bottom lip. "Nat stayed behind, though."

"Last I heard, the Atlanta QZ has since shut down," the guy said. "Hunters surprised the military one night and took them out. Killed whatever civilians that didn't immediately take off."

"Jesus. I hope Nat made it out," Carol replied, eyes wide.

"Which begs the question: what the hell are you doing being a hunter?" Valkyrie asked. "Last I knew, you hated them as much as we do."

"I do," Carol was quick to answer. "After I left, they kinda ambushed me. I was lucky they didn't kill me."

Valkyrie's eyes searched Carol's a moment, unspoken words between them. Valkyrie's gaze softened. "I'm sorry, Carol. You can join us, you know."

"I know, thank you. I can take care of myself, though. At least this way, I don't have to worry about them coming back for me."

"At least let me patch up your shoulder." Valkyrie led her back to the Jeep and sat her down on a crate. "Stay here while I grab the medical supplies. If anybody touches her, I will cut off the body part you touched her with."

Smirking a little, Carol sat patiently on the crate. There were only a handful of fireflies that were there. Carol assumed they had a base they had came from, driving over as soon as they caught wind of the hunters laying low in this section of town. Valkyrie arrived a moment later, a small medical kit in her hands. Carol let her do what she needed, wincing only when the wound was cleaned, otherwise staying silent through the whole thing.

"Thank you, Val," Carol said sincerely, pulling the girl into another hug.

"Anything for you, Carol." Valkyrie pulled away and let out a sigh. "If you find Nat, tell her I'm kicking her ass for scaring us. Which I should also be doing to you, by the way. A hunter? God, you're more reckless than I remember you being."

Fondly rolling her eyes, Carol playfully pushed Valkyrie. "I'm still alive, aren't I?"

"A miracle for us all," Valkyrie deadpanned.

Snickering, Carol walked back into the building and grabbed her bag of stuff. There wasn't much to her name, only finding the bag once she was out of the Zone. After making sure she grabbed all the ammo she could from the place, she stepped back outside. Valkyrie was the only one not back in the car.

"Last chance," was all she said.

Carol just shook her head, giving her childhood friend a smile. Valkyrie smiled back before climbing back in. They left without another word.

 **~*~**  

Traveling alone, as it turned out, was absolutely _boring_. Carol had always been a social child, making friends whenever and wherever she could. But with nobody but random squirrels to talk to, Carol easily grew restless. She didn't have a destination in mind, but she still found herself walking back in the direction of Atlanta. There were still operating Quarantine Zones, but they were slowly dwindling down as the years went on. Humans grew greedy, especially when desperate. If living with the hunters had taught Carol anything, it was that humans were slowly turning back to their archaic ways. It wasn't even the infected that they were killing. No, it was _innocent lives_ that were being killed over stuff as simple as a _pair of shoes_. It made Carol sick to think she had been a part of that for the better part of a year.

The summer heat was blaring down on her, making her regret wearing a long sleeve shirt. She pushed up the sleeves, smiling a little as it made the heat a little less unbearable. The stretch of road she was walking was long, and she didn't see an end in any foreseeable sight. Letting out a breath and tying her hair up into a loose bun, Carol kept walking.

At one point, Carol happened upon an old car. A corpse was sitting in the driver's seat, hunched over the steering wheel. There was a barrier lying across the road that the driver must've only seen when it was too late. The car looked completely picked clean aside from the corpse, making Carol's heart ache at the sight.

"Sad, isn't it?"

Carol's head snapped up, meeting a pair of green eyes. Her hand immediately went to her gun, pulling it out and aiming it at the stranger. "What do you want?"

"Relax, I'm not gonna do anything," the guy said. It didn't relax Carol any. "My name's Barry. I'm just passing through, much as you. Saw you staring at the car."

Carol swallowed thickly. "So why stop and chat then, huh? Most people shoot first and ask questions later."

"I usually don't, but you look young. What are you? Sixteen? Seventeen?" At Carol's slight twitch, Barry raised an eyebrow. "Seventeen? You're as old as this outbreak."

"I'll be eighteen in a few months." She wasn't sure why she was telling the man this. In fact, he didn't look much older than her. He was carrying a small bag of items, which made Carol curious as to where he was coming or going.

"Doesn't change the fact you're as old as this." Barry's voice was calm, but it wasn't soothing Carol any. "Listen, from one teen to another, I promise you I won't do anything to you. I just...I was walking with my friend, Iris, and we got separated. I'm just trying to look for her."

"Teen? How old are you?" Carol asked, her gun dropping slightly.

"Nineteen," Barry answered, hands being shoved into his pockets. "I wasn't trying to mock you for being young. They rarely let teens out of the QZs. 'Course with the way things have been going lately, it doesn't surprise me anymore."

"If I help you find Iris, will you let me on my way?"

Barry quirked an eyebrow once more. "I wasn't holding you here. I saw you staring at a corpse and decided to approach you. Don't look like the instant shooting kind, so." He shrugged. "I would appreciate the help, but you don't have to."

Carol's eyes scanned over the lanky body before she let out a sigh. "Alright," she said after a moment. "I know what it's like to be separated from friends. I'll help you out."

"Thank you."

The two of them started walking, making small talk between each other. Barry was open about his intentions, which Carol appreciated. Hearing the conversations she did while staying with the hunters made her weary of strangers, men especially. For the most part, Barry's intentions were purely just to find Iris, and not harm Carol. Still, though, Carol was on edge the entire time. _Last time she trusted someone..._

It didn't matter anymore. He was dead, and Carol shouldn't even think about him anymore. She took out her frustrations on the infected, not herself. Not anymore, however. Natasha made sure to help her with better methods. Of course, she hadn't mentioned at first that it would be fighting off mindless killers, but it was better them than her.

Night was quickly approaching, and a cool wind whipped through her blonde locks. She suppressed a shiver as Barry led her to an old van. When she simply raised an eyebrow at his choice of stopping, he only let out a chuckle.

"The seats are still cushioned," he explained. "It's a good place to sleep for the night. If you want, you can take first watch. I know you don't trust me enough to sleep, anyway."

Carol eyed Barry a moment before nodding. He gave her a small smile and climbed into the backseat. After making herself comfortable in the passenger seat, she allowed herself to relax minutely, letting the tension she had been keeping since running into the older male. She didn't trust Barry, but she had a sinking suspicion that, over time, she more than likely would.

 **~*~**  

They never found Iris.

Barry grew quiet over the realisation that he seemed to be separated for good from the woman. Carol didn't know Iris at all, but after spending nearly a week with Barry, she couldn't help but feel bad. Barry had always tried to keep the mood light, chatting about some science book he had managed to salvage in a library a few weeks back. Barry blamed himself, claiming if he had been paying closer attention to where he was walking, then they wouldn't have gotten lost in the first place. Carol didn't know how to cheer him up, but she did her best. Barry seemed to appreciate the effort, anyway.

They didn't have an end location in mind. Barry did mention an old hospital a few states over, but wasn't sure if fireflies were still inhabiting it or not. Last he knew, they were using it as a base. It was better than nothing, so in the end, they set off for the hospital.

Summer was still blaring strong, making Carol sweat under her clothes. It wasn't anything she wasn't already used to, but the feeling of damp clothes sticking to her was something she would never get used to. Barry didn't seem too bothered by it, enjoying the way the sun warmed his skin.

"So, what's your deal?" Carol asked, lightly bumping his shoulder with hers. "You haven't really told me much about you."

Chuckling softly, Barry shrugged. "I was young when the infection hit. My parents were both killed by hunters not long after, and a family friend took me in. Iris's dad. Joe was one of the lucky ones to die of old age, so Iris and I took off after he passed. We stayed in some old house for a while. The neighborhood was crawling with infected, but we found a house near the end of the road that they didn't go near too much. It was surrounded by a fence, so all we had to do was lock it and set some traps.

"Iris got tired of sitting around, though. Pretty much called us sitting ducks for staying in a neighborhood full of infected. I didn't really want to leave, but it's hard to tell her no when she's got her mind set on something."

"How were you able to stay in that neighborhood for so long? Didn't any hunters or somebody come through?" Carol couldn't help but ask.

"Nah. With as many infected as there were, we were the only ones stupid enough to sneak through and stay there. They were like a sort of protection, you know? Didn't really bother us, and we didn't bother them." Barry bit his bottom lip. "But Iris did make a point. It was only a matter of time before they figured out a way to make it through our barrier."

"Where did you guys go?"

"I'm getting to that." Barry chuckled. He had a nice smile. "We tried sneaking out. Almost didn't work. Iris accidentally set off one of the traps and they all came running towards us. Barely made it out without getting bit. We ran towards an old sewage drain and tried waiting it out. But with them all staying near the blocked entrance, we tried looking for another way out.

"Came across an old camping site. It had been abandoned for a while, but Iris and I were able to stay in there for a few weeks without having to leave. Which I don't recommend unless you're really desperate. Anyway, I found us a way out. We were on our way to meet up with a friend of ours when we got separated. It was dark and I took a wrong turn. By the time I realised she wasn't near me anymore, it was too late."

"I'm sorry."

"Shit happens." Barry kicked a loose rock in front of him before shoving his hands in his pockets. He did that a lot, and it made Carol wonder if he had something in one of the pockets that he liked holding onto. For memory's sake, or just to feel safer. "What about you?"

"I'm not nearly as interesting, I can assure you."

"Try me."

"Well, um. I was born shortly after things really started going to shit. Parents died and I was raised in the Zone. Hated how things were starting to go, so I took off." Carol shrugged. "Told you I wasn't interesting."

Carol could feel Barry's eyes on her, like he was trying to figure out why she was keeping things so under wraps. Seeming to decide it wasn't worth pushing, he dropped his gaze. Carol felt like a balloon letting out air after that, letting out a breath she hadn't known she had been holding in. Thankful for him not pushing the subject further, they continued on their walk.

"Hospital's not much further away," Barry spoke up, pointing to a nearby road sign. There was a firefly logo spray painted over it, but the words underneath were still legible. "I'd say we have at least half a day's left of walking to do."

"I wish we could find a car that worked." Carol pouted. "It would make this trip so much easier."

"It would, actually. S'too bad most of the engines are taken apart. Or the cars are too destroyed to work, even if we had the proper tools." Barry walked over to a blue car, and peered under the hood. "See, this one could run if we had the tools to fix it. Most, if not all, the pieces are here. I even have a syphon hose to get gas."

"Shit," Carol cursed, standing next to him. "Do you want to try finding stuff to fix it? Where there's a hospital, there's a town."

"Nah, it's too far away to do a quick run back. If anything, we can look for the tools and then try to find another car there."

"But this is such a pretty shade of blue," Carol remarked, causing Barry to snort in response. "I hope there's an old clothing store there or something. I'm not sure how much longer this shirt can hold on for. I've been wearing it all summer, washing it in rivers when I can, and it's about falling apart."

Barry shrugged. "There might be. So much shit has been picked through, but there's still a lot left over. People can't really carry a whole lot, especially without a car, so a lot of stuff stays."

Carol bit her bottom lip. Barry was only a few years older than she was, and yet seemed to carry the world differently. Almost heavier, like he felt purposely responsible for the infection that killed most of the world's population. It had been nearly eighteen years since shit hit the fan, but it also made Carol frightened for what little future she had. It wasn't like it bothered her, considering this life was all she knew, but it also made her wish for more.

"So. Other than Iris, have you really befriended anybody?" Carol asked, teasing the other teen a bit. "You seem the quiet type."

"It's 'cause I am," Barry said with a laugh. "And not really. Hard to trust people nowadays. Approaching you had been a bit of desperate luck, if I'm being honest." Barry shrugged. "Doesn't matter, anyway. I don't know where Iris is anymore, and unless the fireflies are still at the hospital, we should be okay to stay there for a bit."

"Staying in one spot does have its perks," Carol said. She messed lightly with the broken watch on her wrist. It didn't work anymore, but it had been a gift from Natasha before Carol left the QZ. Natasha had claimed to have found it randomly in a store, but both women knew she was just bullshitting. Watches were a luxury item, mostly collected by hunters. The leader of the group Carol was in had at least two. "Do you think we'll find meds? You know...in case winter decides to be a bitch this year?"

"Hopefully. If the fireflies willingly left, then they probably took everything with them. If they didn't, then there might be some leftover supplies. It's hard to tell with old cities since people always tend to flock towards them to hide in the buildings. Especially during late fall through the winter."

Nodding, Carol let out a soft sigh as they continued walking. She wasn't sure where it was coming from, but for a brief moment, Carol swore she felt a cold breeze crawl up her spine.

 **~*~**  

The fireflies weren't at the hospital. Which was both a relief and a worry for the pair. Corpses lay scattered on the bottom floor, all in various states of decomposition.

"This one's fresh," Barry spoke up to the right of her. Carol looked over and spotted a body leaning up against a broken elevator.

Broken glass crunched under her feet as she made her way closer to where Barry was standing. Reaching a tentative hand out, Carol lightly touched the man's hand. "His skin's still warm," she said, standing up quickly. "Whoever killed him is still here."

Barry's eyes widened before they were both scrambling to pull out their guns. Footsteps sounded from above them, and they were quick to hide behind a stack of crates on the other side of the room. With an eye on the stairs, Carol loaded her gun with the last of her bullets, cursing softly under her breath as she listened for the steps to get closer.

"Thought I heard voices downstairs," a woman's voice spoke up, making Carol freeze a little. The voice sounded familiar, but she couldn't place it. "Stay up here and guard the merchandise while I go downstairs and do a quick scan."

"Make it fast. We have to be out of here by sundown," a male voice replied.

There wasn't a returned reply, but Carol listened as the footsteps made their way down the stairs. Carol made herself more hidden as a hispanic woman walked further onto the floor. Her eyes widened a little bit when she recognized the woman from another group of hunters that had nearly killed her before she was able to escape. From the corner of her eye, she could see Barry watching her from where she froze. Swallowing thickly and ignoring Barry's concerned gaze, Carol moved behind a closer stack of forgotten medical equipment. Barry stayed where he was, his own gun ready to shoot when given the signal or opportunity. Letting out a shaky breath and waiting until the woman turned, Carol aimed her gun, and shot.

It hit her shoulder, making Carol curse and duck back behind the stack of equipment. Thundering footsteps came down the stairs as her male accomplice joined her in trying to kill the pair of teens. Barry's gun went off, shortly after, and a grunt followed the sound. Carol quickly aimed and finished off the man that Barry hit.

"Fuck sake, kid, I remember you," the woman said, laughing a bit. "Figured your mouth would've gotten you killed by now."

"You would like that, huh?" Carol couldn't help but replied. She let out a gasp of pain when a bullet shot through the equipment she was hiding behind, grazing her side. "You were a bitch then, and you're a bitch now."

Carol moved back to where Barry was as the woman replied. "I'm just doing the same as you are, kid. Gotta kill or be killed, in this world. With that logic, you and I are the same."

Barry gave her a curious look once more before moving behind another stack of crates. Carol watched him a minute, trying to figure out what he was doing. Unfortunately for her, the distraction was a mistake.

"There you are."

Letting out a noise of frustration as Carol was pulled to her feet by the woman. The older woman was smirking, her gun pressed to Carol's forehead. "Tell that boyfriend of yours to back off before I put a bullet in your brain."

"Barry," Carol said, her tone a mix of warning and fear. She hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid.

The woman seemed pleased, letting a smirk sneak onto her face. "Good boy," she stated mockingly. "Now, you, dear. I've been waiting to kill you ever since you shot my partner few years back. I say it's fate that we've met back up. Don't you think?"

"Fuck you," Carol snarled out, kicking the woman's shin.

The woman winced, but her grip on Carol's shirt didn't lessen, and the pressure of the gun on her forehead only seemed to get worse. "You're still a brat, I see. This time you don't have anyone to protect you. I doubt toothpick over there could much damage. I'm surprised the wind hasn't blown him over yet."

"Leave him out of this," Carol said. "This matter is between you and I."

"Very well." The smirk on her face turned more wicked as she got ready to shoot.

Before she could, Carol kicked her in the shin once more, as hard as she could. When the woman winced again, Carol twisted out of her grip and grabbed a metal pipe off the floor. "This ends today," was all she said before swinging it hard at the other woman. After a few more swings, the woman lay on the floor, letting out silent whimpers.

"Please. I won't hurt you anymore," she begged, eyes pleading as she stared up at Carol.

"Didn't you hear me? I said this ends today." Without another word, Carol aimed her own gun and shot the woman, who instantly lay lifeless against the floor.

"Holy shit am I glad I never pissed you off," Barry spoke up suddenly, startling Carol a bit. "Are you alright?"

"A little shaken," Carol admitted. "But I'm alright. How are you?"

"I'm fine." Barry let out a shaky breath. "Right, okay. Well. I have yet to hear anybody else run here because of all the noise, so I assume we should be okay."

"I wanna see what cargo they were protecting," Carol announced. After searching the bodies for ammo, the two of them walked upstairs.

"Holy shit. Look at all this medicine," Barry breathed out, walking towards the large stack. "This could last a group of hunters at least two years."

"Depending on the size of the group, yeah." Carol ran a hand over the top, eyeing a paper that listed all the stuff on top. "They must've come in and killed the fireflies stationed here. This must've been the retrieval group coming back for the stuff."

"With a load this big, shouldn't there be more people?"

Carol walked over to the nearest window and looked out. "There's a van. Their base must be out of city, but nearby."

"They'll come back for this stuff once they notice the pair have yet to return." Barry pulled out his knife and cut open the nearest box. "I say we take what we can and take off before they do."

"Good idea." Carol pulled out her own knife and sliced open another box. They shoved as much medicine as they could into their bags before slipping back outside.

It was still warm out, despite the slowly setting sun. Carol briefly wondered if it'd be worth it trying to hide at the hospital for a night's rest before taking back off again in the morning. Barry seemed to be having similar thoughts, if his glances behind him were any indication.

"We can sleep in one of the stores in town," Carol finally offered as they subconsciously walked towards town anyway. "I didn't see any signs of hunters when we were going through earlier, so we should be okay for the night."

"If the hunters don't come after us, we could try staying in the town for a bit?" Barry suggested. It didn't sound all that bad, if Carol was being honest.

"Yeah, alright. But I call dibs on sleeping first. I'm exhausted."

They found an old cafe near the edge of town. Carol chuckled to herself as she looked over an old and smashed computer. "Imagine if this still worked," she said. "I've always been curious as to what people were up to when internet was still a thing."

"Joe once joked that kids our age would watch videos of cats doing things." Barry chuckled himself, shaking his head. "If I felt relaxed enough to do shit like that in my free time, I'd be doing something else."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

Barry bit his bottom lip. "Joe used to be a cop. Back before the infection. He used to tell me stories about everything he did, or any particularly memorable occasions. It just got me thinking, I guess. I also read in a book one time how there were these scientists who'd help on the crime scenes. And I guess...I'd probably do something like that, I suppose. Combine the interests of stuff Joe told me with my interest in science. You'd honestly be surprised at all the textbooks left in universities. I swipe them when I can and study them." Barry ran his hand over the dust, fingers coming back coated in dirt. "What about you? What would you do?"

Humming softly, Carol let her eyes roam over the cafe. She could picture people freely talking and laughing, sharing jokes over coffee and pastries. "In a history book," she started. "I read about this woman pilot back when planes were still relatively new. Amelia Earhart, was her name. Reading about all the things she did. It made me want to do that, if I could. Just...fly through the air without a care in the world." She sighed softly. "Nowadays, it seems like you can't talk too loudly without someone shooting at you."

"A part of me wishes I was older when the infection hit. So I would have some memories of the before life." Barry kicked a loose stone. "Iris told me it was a blessing in disguise. If we don't know any better, what is there to miss?"

"I get it," Carol replied, giving Barry a small smile. "I never got the chance to know, but...Iris makes a point. If there's nothing for us to mourn, why bother?" She shrugged. "Then again, it would be nice to be able to relax. You know? Even inside the QZ...nobody can settle. It's like you're damned if you're not constantly on guard."

Barry nodded in agreement before sighing. "C'mon. Think I spotted some couches upstairs earlier that we can sleep on."

Sleep didn't come easy for Carol that night, so she let Barry take the first rest. Soft snores emitted from the lanky lump on the broken couch. Barry had long legs, spilling over the armrest of the couch where he slept. It didn't look too comfortable, but Barry fell asleep almost as soon as he laid down. They found old tattered blankets from a closet in the staff room of the cafe. Barry had one over him, and Carol had the other held tight around her. The nights were growing colder, signaling autumn coning closer to nipping at their noses. There was a clothing store within the town that they'd be able to raid once the sun came up and they both had some decent rest. Carol silently vowed to let Barry sleep for the rest of the night, but she knew he'd wake himself up at some point to let her sleep while it was still dark outside.

It was a quieter night. In the distance, she could hear a car heading towards the hospital. More than likely checking up on the crew that was there. Carol held her breath, waiting to see what would happen. But after no indication they were heading into the town where they were at, she allowed herself to relax minutely. Normally, Carol would be on edge considering Barry's snores, but they were hidden enough where she forced herself not to be so paranoid about it. They hadn't been caught yet because of it.

Carol sighed softly, staring down at her watch in silent fascination. She wished it still worked. Even though she didn't know what the exact time was anymore– nor how to even read it– it was still a nice gift. Barry had commented on it shortly after they first met. He offered to help her learn how to read it, even if it didn't work, and at the time, she refused. Staring down at it, though, made her reconsider his offer.

Once upon a time, Carol had hated living. She wasn't entirely thrilled by the prospect of looking over her shoulder every second of the day, but she willed herself to survive. When she was younger, her and Natasha had a conversation about it. Carol didn't see the point in surviving if something would just kill you anyway. Natasha had faint memories of the before, so she understood. But she told Carol that even if it seemed meaningless, there was always something out there to keep your drive going, even if it meant being selfish. For a while, Carol had thought it'd be Natasha and Val. But then Val joined the fireflies and Natasha grew distant. Carol wasn't sure what she had done, but she left the QZ a couple years later, so she was never able to get her answer.

Barry stirred behind her, causing Carol to turn her head to watch him. "You should be sleeping," she said, her voice soft when her blue eyes met his green. "I'm alright."

"I can hear you brooding from my sleep," he tiredly snarked. "Your thinking's too loud."

Carol chuckled softly, turning back to look out over the town. "I'll try to keep it down."

Barry went quiet once more, and Carol assumed he fell back asleep. She jumped when he sat down next to her. "I won't be able to sleep unless I know you're alright," he confessed, face apologetic. "I'm sorry for bringing up the conversation earlier."

"Don't even worry about it," Carol replied quickly, giving Barry a small smile. "It's nice to talk about what could've been, you know? Helps keep my mind off this hell."

Barry nodded, pulling his own blanket tighter around his shoulders. "Did you ever have anyone? From before?"

"Yeah." Carol let out a shaky sigh. "I'll never know what could've been since I took off before, well anything. I was scared and didn't tell her where I was going. Left one night and never looked back."

"I thought I had something with Iris," Barry said after a moment. "We...we had this whole 'no one else' thing going on. You know how it is. Then one day, she tells me she didn't want to pretend anymore. Said she didn't want to lead me on because she couldn't return my feelings."

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, shit happens." Barry shrugged, a sad smile gracing his features. "I've mostly gotten over it. Ironic that this distance between us has helped with that."

"If it makes you feel any better, I hope you two are reunited."

"Yeah, me too."

 **~*~**  

The floors were filthy. Carol wasn't even sure what she was stepping in half the time as the two of them went through the leftover items from a once thriving clothing store. Most of the shelves were empty and picked clean. Barry found another pair of jeans that he swapped on, tossing the old raggedy pair into his backpack. Carol blew out a huff of air as she tried to find them sweaters or coats– anything, really, to protect them from the cold once winter hit.

"I think the hunters picked through all the thicker clothes," Barry spoke up, echoing Carol's thoughts. "I found some longer sleeved shirts, but that won't help much once snow starts to fall."

Walking over, Carol grabbed the shirt from Barry's outstretched hand. It was caked in mud, but through the dirt, Carol recognized an old band logo. Once washed, the shirt would be nice when autumn really started taking affect. "Thank you," she told Barry, rolling it up and shoving it into her own bag.

They weren't able to find much else after that. Some meager supplies to make a shiv and the start of a possible nail bomb, but not much else. Not wanting to waste the opportunity to look through the leftover loot, they went different directions to cover more ground.

Much to her surprise, there was an old bookstore. Unlike most stores, this one's shelves were still mostly full. Books were heavy, and took up space. Combined with the distracted attention, people didn't pay them much mind. Carol remembered back when she was young, learning to read thanks to a kind old teacher at the military school. Much of the older generation didn't pay much mind to the children's edition past learning how to defend themselves and kill to survive. Sitting there with a book in her lap was a welcome change of pace. Letting her fingers scan over the old titles, Carol walked slowly through the bookstore. Books were yet another luxury item, and Carol couldn't help herself when she grabbed one off the shelf to put in her bag. Natasha's words rang in her ears, and she found herself smiling a bit.

Her and Barry met back up in the cafe. After splitting a can of beans, Barry went to work on cleaning his gun and knives, reloading with what he could. Carol followed his lead, but it didn't take her too long. After living with hunters, doing it quickly became a need to survive. She pulled out her book, not missing the amused look from Barry, and began to read.

 **~*~**  

Autumn was in full swing by the time they had been stumbled upon. Barry had found old beaten to hell sweaters packed away in a storage shed behind the grocery store. They didn't fair much against the cold wind, but combined with the blankets, did a decent enough job at keeping the chill out. The two of them were able to stay in the town for a couple months, making due with the supplies around them. Barry was good company to have around, and Carol found herself falling into an easy friendship with him. The sharp contrast between him and the hunters was as plain as day, and it made her glad Val's group had taken out the hunting party. She wasn't sure how she'd be able to leave otherwise.

"How long did you want to stay here?" Barry asked, leaning back against the bookshelf behind him. Him and Carol had found themselves in the bookstore more often than not, spending their newly acquired free time reading. Barry, as it turned out, adored all things fantasy and sci-fi. Carol preferred horror stories, but would sometimes read the classic romantic novels. Both of them stayed away from any end of the world type of stories.

Pulling her knees closer to her chest, Carol shrugged. "We haven't been found here. This place is small and out of the way. Yeah, it's near the hospital, but we should be removed enough that stragglers won't be too much of an issue. I'd say we stay here as long as we can."

Smiling in agreement, Barry crossed his legs in front of them. The ground was dirty, but it was more comfortable than the left behind furniture. Besides, it wasn't as if any shopkeeper would come shooing them out for loitering in the store. It was peaceful, sitting near one another and reading. They brought their stuff with them wherever they went, in case they ever needed to leave quickly, but always retreating to the second floor of the cafe to rest for the night.

As Carol finished a chapter she was on, she could hear voices in the distance. Looking through the nearby window, she spotted a small group of people making their way through the town. Signaling Barry to stay quiet, Carol traded her book for her gun, staying hidden under the window. As a safety precaution, the two of them set up wire traps at the entrances. Both of them knew where they sat, so they were easy to avoid. But random strangers wouldn't see them unless they were looking.

"I doubt there'd be anything in there," a feminine voice spoke from nearby. It didn't sound like they were staring in the direction of the bookstore, but it was still close enough to leave Carol on edge.

"It still doesn't hurt to look, Cait," another feminine voice said.

Barry's eyes widened and he peeked out the window. Carol opened her voice to ask him what the matter was when he suddenly stood up. "Iris?"

"Barry!"

Barry hurried out of the store, being mindful of the trap, and pulled Iris into a hug. Carol followed out at a slower pace, eyes roaming over the group of stragglers in front of her.

"God, I can't believe I found you," the woman, Iris, said, smiling wide. There were tears in her eyes as she pulled him in for another hug. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"Yeah, I'm fine." Barry pulled back and gestured to Carol. Carol waved lamely when there were suddenly four strangers staring at her. "I ran into Carol shortly after we got separated. We've stuck together since."

"Hi, Carol. I'm Iris," she said warmly, pulling Carol into a surprise hug. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Carol replied, hugging back a bit awkwardly. Iris seemed nice enough, so Carol tried her best not to assume the worst.

"What happened to you?" Barry asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"After we got separated, I stumbled into an old house to stay the night in. Turned out, this group was already in there. I explained what happened, and they let me tag along. This is Oliver, Laurel, and Caitlin."

Carol bit her bottom lip roughly as Barry got caught up with the others. She suddenly felt like an outsider. As much as Barry tried including her in the conversations, it didn't feel organic. Oliver didn't seem to care for her, and Caitlin kept mostly to herself. Laurel tried talking to her, but the more Carol replied with short answers, the less she tried. Her heart sank when she realised the only person she really wanted anymore she hadn't seen in years.

When night fell, Oliver and Laurel offered to keep guard while everybody else slept. The other three fell asleep quickly, but Carol stayed curled where she lay. As much as she trusted Barry, she didn't trust the others. When it was her turn to keep watch the following night, she gave a weak excuse to her watch partner, Caitlin, and slipped out of the cafe. A part of her felt guilty for not saying goodbye to Barry, someone who she had grown close to, but she knew he'd be in good hands. Especially having Iris back.

 **~*~**  

Once upon a time, Carol used to love autumn. The way the leaves changed and the crisp air chased away the near blistering heat. It never got too cold in the Atlanta QZ, not like the north section where Carol often found herself. Shortly after she escaped, she experienced the changing of seasons. She hated what followed, but she enjoyed it while it lasted.

At a random house, Carol found a thicker jacket to wear as winter came quicker. It was insanely warm, but Carol would rather sweat than freeze. Loose stones scattered around her feet, skidding across the broken pavement with each step she took. Being by herself always left her on edge, nerves frayed with the less sleep she got. Whatever sleep she did manage to get was restless, needing to stay light and alert in case someone surprised her. In short, she was exhausted. With no other options, she continued forward.

By the time winter really hit, Carol had holed herself away in an old house. There was a huge chunk out of the back wall, making almost the entirety of the bottom floor coated in snow. Carol hid herself away in the attic, wrapping up with the blanket she swiped from the town she left Barry in. She could still see her breath, but she was warm enough that she didn't have to worry about freezing up there.

Dozing lightly, Carol hid herself in the corner behind a large bookcase. Her body sagged in relief from being able to rest, as light as it was. Her mind yearned for deep sleep, but Carol wouldn't– _couldn't_ do it. Her bones felt heavy with sleep, and she knew if she didn't get decent sleep soon, it'd have lethal consequences. Carol knew it was stupid to not get more sleep, she could easily slip into a deeper sleep while still remaining alert. Burrowing further into her corner, Carol allowed herself to slip a little deeper into sleep.

A few hours later, Carol was startled awake by stomping on the lowest level. Peering out the window, Carol didn't see any vehicles from passing hunters or fireflies. In fact, Carol didn't hear anything. Holding her gun slightly tighter, Carol kept her eyes sharp on the staircase. Pressing her lips into a thin line, Carol raised her gun and aimed it steadily towards where the sound was coming from.

"Carol?"

Carol's eyes widened a little, gun lowering in disbelief when she saw Natasha standing at the top of the stairs. "Nat?" she breathed out. "Holy shit."

She scrambled up, pulling Natasha into a tight hug. Natasha didn't seem any closer to letting go of her, either, clinging tightly onto the younger. "I didn't think I'd find you," she admitted quietly.

"How the hell did you?" Carol asked, pulling away. "Last I knew, you were still in Atlanta."

"I was, but the military started really getting bad, so I took off." Natasha smiled a little. "I, uh. I passed by this group and they seemed friendly enough, so I tried asking if they had ever saw you. Sure enough, one of them was actually _upset_ you took off. Said he wasn't sure where you went, though, and just pointed to the last place he saw you."

"I'm convinced you're like, some super tracker or something." Carol laughed. "Fuck, Nat. It's...so good to see you."

"Likewise."

Natasha pulled Carol in for another hug before letting out a sigh. "All we need is Val to leave the fireflies now and we'll be complete."

Carol snorted. "The day she does is the day they find a cure." She put the safety of her gun back on and gestured to her makeshift sleeping corner. "I, uh. I've just been hiding out here in the winter. Not much to do when it's storming out, so."

"And you picked a house with a giant hole in it why?"

"I was traveling through a storm. It was the first shelter I saw, so."

"Well it's sunny out. Why don't we find someplace better to hide out for the winter?" Natasha suggested. "If we stay here, we might end up sick."

"Sure, just give me a minute to pack the blanket away." Carol gave Natasha a smile before packing her things into her backpack before heading out with the older woman.

"So, uh. What have you been up to?" Carol asked, fiddling with one of her straps. She felt awkward, all unspoken words between them feeling heavy in the air. "What happened in the QZ?"

"The military got worse," Natasha repeated. "I'm fairly sure it's going to close soon. Someone who was bit snuck in and nearly infected more before he was caught. With everybody focusing on that, I was able to slip out of the gate."

"I imagine that happened with a few people," Carol commented. "Slipping in, too. As much as people bitch about the Zones, everybody seems itching to get in."

"You're telling me."

Carol let her eyes roam over the snow covered landscape. The sun was blaring against it, making it hard to stare at for too long. Her eyes adjusted enough to be able to watch where she was going, but there was a distant ache behind her eyes from the glare. Natasha was quiet next to her as they walked. Her presence was a welcome change, and Carol found herself subconsciously walking a bit closer. Back in the QZ, her, Natasha, and Val all stuck together like glue. Over the few times they were able to sneak out and into a nearby run down mall, they always took the fall together, or escaped punishment together. It wasn't anything difficult to slip past the lethargic guards in the early hours of the morning, just before the shift changed. The guards stayed more alert for people slipping in than out, but it also depended on the situation and the guards on duty.

There was a time when Carol thought she had her life somewhat figured out. It was before she turned thirteen, and the awe of hanging out with the older girls still hadn't quite worn off yet. Natasha was four years older than her, and Val five. As the baby of the group, Carol always had eyes watching out for her before all else. Carol had hated it initially, but grew to ignore it, keeping their backs as well as they kept hers. At thirteen, Carol could hold her own, being at the military school the longest out of them all.

The old mall echoed with their laughter and voices, a young Carol easily keeping up with the dirty jokes. It was when they were raiding an old Halloween store that Val had blurted she joined the fireflies. She only had a week left before she was due to leave, and thirteen year old Carol was devastated. Natasha seemed just as shocked, if not more. Her and Val spent the week together without Carol, and after things hadn't been the same. Carol had an embarrassing hero type of crush on Natasha. But with her being seventeen at the time to Carol's thirteen, Carol doubted she would've taken it seriously.

"Have you heard from Val at all?" Natasha asked, breaking Carol out of her thoughts.

"Once, a few months back. I, uh. Got myself roped into a group of hunters. It was her group that ended up killing them. Val was the reason I wasn't shot as well." Carol shrugged. "She's some type of leader, I think."

"Suits her. She's always been the bossy type," she joked. "No, uh. She's a great leader. Knows what she's doing, so it doesn't surprise me that she was promoted."

They didn't talk much after that, but they eventually found a house on a dead end road. It was completely boarded up and overall stable, despite the sinking left side. With a slight jimmy, they were able to slip inside, sealing their entrance back up so no one would see them inside.

"I have a firefly contact I'm trying to meet up with," Natasha said after a moment. "I don't know where he's at."

"Someone other than Val?"

"I haven't been able to get ahold of Val," Natasha said with a huff. "Her promotion must've meant a new group of people. Her code doesn't work anymore on the radio."

"How are you able to get a radio to work and communicate with it?" Carol furrowed her eyebrows, staring at the clunky radio in Natasha's hands.

"It's battery operated. You wouldn't believe the amount of batteries you can scrounge up in old houses like these. Plus, most of the main radio lines are still up and running. Tony explained to me how, but I was more amazed at being able to communicate with the radio more than anything else." Natasha turned the radio on and grabbed the handheld mic. Tuning the channel to a certain number, smiling a little when satisfied. "Group 616, are you there? Code 1610."

_"Group 616 reads you. Who is speaking?"_

"Scarlett, may I speak to Junior?"

There was shuffling a minute before another male voice came through. _"Nat?"_

"Tony, where are you?" Natasha asked, glancing over at Carol. "I found Carol."

_"We're in New Mexico at the moment, but we're heading out tomorrow morning. Not sure where the next step is."_

"Shit," Natasha breathed out before speaking into the microphone again. "Just keep going with them, then. We'll figure out a place to meet when we're closer."

 _"Sounds like a plan. See you, Nat."_

"Bye, Tony."

Carol quirked an eyebrow at the quick exchange, watching in slight amazement as Natasha turned the radio back off. "He knows who I am?"

"Of course he does. I've talked about you. We've been trying to find you for a while now, but now it makes sense that you got caught with hunters. They're amazing at hiding in plain sight," Natasha replied. "You'd like him, I think. His humor is similar to yours."

"Hey, anybody who can make you laugh is automatically good in my book."

Natasha smirked before relaxing back on the couch. "How long did you want to stay here?"

"It's up to you, Nat. I'm more than okay with staying in one place for a while. Either in the QZ or with the hunters, I've gotten used to staying holed up in one area," Carol said, shrugging afterwards. "Barry and I stayed in a town for a while, but I'm used to the constant travel."

"I've missed you," Natasha said softly.

Carol was silent a moment. "Could've fooled me," she eventually said. "Considering the way you acted in the years after Val left."

"I was hurt–"

"So was I, Nat!" Carol exclaimed. "I already had one best friend leave me, but the other one decided I wasn't worth hanging out with anymore. Especially considering– never mind. I need sleep."

Natasha opened her mouth to say something, but Carol brushed past her and went into one of the upstairs bedrooms. She had to shove off a half packed suitcase off the bed, and clean as much dirt as she could off the pillows before sinking into the bed. With Natasha downstairs, Carol easily fell into a deep sleep.

 **~*~**  

As much as Carol did want to reconcile with Natasha, things were awkward for a bit. Natasha knew what boundaries she couldn't go past, and Carol knew when not to press. It was obvious they both wanted to make up, but they needed to work through the hurt first.

"I'm sorry."

Carol looked up from a book she had swiped to see Natasha sitting down across the table from her. Carol simply quirked an eyebrow at her.

"I'm sorry," Natasha repeated. "I...I was scared, and hurt by Val leaving. I know it really isn't any excuse for ditching you, but. Val and I...we had a thing going, you know? So it hurt to see her leave."

An uncomfortable feeling curled in Carol's gut. "A thing?" she repeated, hoping she had heard wrong.

"Yeah, like. You know...hooking up. I thought she cared deeper, like I did, but."

"Oh," was all Carol could say. "Sorry."

Natasha quickly shook her head. "No, no. It's past us both now. I'm pretty sure she's talking with some guy now, but I'm not certain."

"I'm sorry, too. For blowing up at you."

The two of them smiled as the tension that had settled around them slowly lifted. It felt easier.

"I had this massive crush on you at the time," Carol said, chuckling a little. Spending more time with Natasha would, no doubt, reopen old wounds. But that was a problem for future Carol. "So seeing you dissing me probably hurt me more, with all that happening."

"Yeah, I kinda figured you did. You followed me around like a lost puppy," Natasha teased. "It was rather cute. It was Val's suggestion not to tell you what we were up to, all things considered."

Carol played with the torn front cover of her book. "Why did you really go looking for me, Nat?"

"I wanted normalcy," Nat whispered. "Considering everything, I just wanted something to be normal."

"There's no such thing."

"No, I know." Natasha took a shaky breath. "I only have very faint memories of the life before. Sometimes I wish I didn't. Most two year olds don't remember anything. Guess I was one of the lucky few."

"I missed you, too, for the record. I don't think I ever really stopped thinking about you. About...anything that happened back in the QZ." Carol bit her bottom lip roughly. "When I was with the hunters, the thought of the happiness I had with you and Val was the only thing that kept me going most days. Being in that group was so miserable, but I was lucky they thought of me as an asset and not a threat. Pretty sure I'd be dead otherwise."

Natasha reached over and gently squeezed Carol's hand. "Well neither of us have to worry about that anymore, alright? We have each other now."

"'Til the end?"

"'Til the end."

 **~*~**  

It was slowly starting to warm up. With the oncoming of spring, Carol silently celebrated a quick birthday wish to herself. She was now eighteen. According to old school teachers, she would officially be considered an adult. What exactly came with that, Carol wasn't sure. She had spent years chasing off infected and hunters alike that she didn't think it meant anything significant nowadays. Once Natasha was awake the morning after Carol realised her birthday had passed, the two women shared sad smiles.

"Do you want to do something as a celebration?" Natasha asked. "There's a town nearby that's full of hunters that we can shoot at."

Carol snorted. "Nah, it's a waste of bullets. How about we venture out of this house? After winter, I'm starting to get a little cramped in here, if I'm being honest."

"Yeah, sure."

The two of them packed up their small amount of stuff before heading out. They stuck to the woods for a while before emerging at a road. There was a lone black truck sitting on the side. It was running, which caused Carol and Natasha to spare a glance at one another. Pulling out their guns, they slowly walked forward.

"It's low on gas, but I don't see anyone around. Who would leave a truck running like this?" Natasha asked, peering inside the vehicle.

"Maybe they're doing a gas run?"

"Yeah, but there'd be someone waiting nearby." Natasha looked around and sighed. "This feels like a set-up."

Carol peered inside the truck before looking around. "There's enough left if you wanted to take it and turn around."

Natasha bit her lip in thought before nodding. She climbed in behind the wheel and Carol sat in the passenger seat. There weren't any issues as they turned the truck around, causing Carol to relax minutely.

"Will we be okay considering how much noise this thing makes?" Carol asked.

"We should be fine. We'll need to syphon some gas soon, but if you wanted to take a quick nap, then go ahead," Nat answered.

Carol went to say she wasn't tired when a large yawn came out. She snorted at Nat's small smirk before getting comfortable.

Not too long later, Carol was jolted from her seat when Natasha stopped suddenly. "We out of gas?" she asked sleepily.

"No. I knew this was a trap." Natasha quickly threw the truck in reverse. As Carol woke up more, she saw a group of hunters chasing after their truck. Throwing her seatbelt on, Carol gripped the door handle as Natasha turned the truck around without slowing down much. "Shit."

Quickly loading her gun, Carol opened up the back window and took aim, managing to hit one of the guys following them. Focusing her gaze once more, Carol managed to hit the tire of the car chasing behind them. "We better have enough gas, Nat. I don't know how long they'll keep chase."

"I filled before we reached the town," Natasha replied, knuckles turning white from how tight she was gripping the steering wheel.

Carol took a couple more shots, one aiming wide and another piercing the front window of the jeep. None of the passengers looked harmed– they were more angry than anything. Loading her gun back up, Carol fired off another shot, getting the person in the passenger seat. A bullet hit her in the arm as she went to take aim once more, causing her to curse and almost drop her gun.

"What happened?" Natasha asked, risking a quick glance at Carol.

"One of the fuckers got me in my shooting arm," Carol said. "Fuck, that stings. I'll be fine, keep driving."

They kept up like that for a few miles. Natasha turning whichever and whenever she could, trying to shake them off their tail. But the car persisted, its tank just as full as theirs. Carol was low on bullets and bleeding heavily through the shot on her arm and another one she acquired on her shoulder. Natasha barely dodged a shot aimed at her head, looking around the cracked glass of the front windshield.

"Who the hell would set up a trap like that?" Carol demanded, sitting front in her seat.

"Hunters, most likely. They were probably expecting whoever took the truck to turn around. No sense to keep going the way the person who left it running." Natasha took a sharp turn; Carol almost slammed into the door. "Sorry. Fuck, how are they keeping on us?"

Carol looked ahead of them, eyes widening suddenly. "Nat, look out!"

A car came out of one of the side roads, plowing right into Carol's side of the truck. They went spinning, and tipped at one point, rolling into a nearby ditch before stopping. Carol's head felt like it was spinning, and she was sore all over. After attempting to move her leg and causing it to scream out in pain, she deduced she had broken it.

"Nat, I can't move. My leg..."

Natasha was unconscious, in turn making Carol panic. The hunters were no doubt coming over to check if they were in fact dead. She couldn't find her gun anywhere, so she closed her eyes and held her breath, hoping with all her might they wouldn't check either of their pulses. Overhead, she could hear them talking, looking down at the wreckage of the car and seeing the two women unmoving in their position. Thankfully, that seemed to be enough of a sign for them to confirm they were both dead. Carol wasn't entirely sure why, but none of them made any closer move to the wreckage to salvage their stuff. It must look worse on the outside for them to abandon it like that.

Carol's lungs burned, but she willed herself not to breathe until she was absolutely certain they were gone. When she was, she opened her eyes and took a shuddering breath, looking over at Natasha as she did.

"Nat?" she asked, her voice small. She reached over with a shaky hand and checked for a pulse, almost sobbing in relief when she was able to feel a faint thrum. "Fuck. How am I supposed to get us out of here?"

Even though her leg was screaming in protest, Carol managed to wiggle out of the truck. With a shaky hand, she combined their stuff into one bag and threw it over her shoulders. The wreck did, in fact, look much worse on the outside. There was glass and parts of the truck scattered everywhere. It was basically a minefield to walk through it without injury. Running purely on adrenaline, Carol carefully maneuvered Natasha out of the truck, laying her on an area of ground that looked mostly uncovered of debris.

"What am I supposed to do?" Carol asked, sitting next to Natasha's unconscious self. The wreck had caused a ton of noise, more than likely alerting any creature nearby to what went on. No wonder the hunters scattered as quick as they came.

Taking a shaky breath, Carol grabbed the blanket and the medical supplies, making what she hoped was a decent enough wrap to keep her broken leg in place enough to move them both out of the area. There wasn't much ammo in her gun, but she kept it on her person anyway. Looking around, she crawled around to clear a path of most of the larger debris items. Taking the other half of the now torn up blanket, Carol carefully put Natasha onto it, standing up on shaky legs. Her broken leg didn't seem to appreciate the weight on it, so she favored her other one as she limped along the side of the road, dragging Natasha behind her. Her vision swam, and she was running purely on adrenaline, but she pushed forth.

Much to her luck, there was a small cluster of buildings up ahead. It looked like a bombed out area that surrounded Quarantine Zones, and made her way towards it. The town was almost completely decimated, but it was cover and out of the way. The building she dragged them into was an old office building. It rumbled under the weight of new movement, but stayed in place. The last thing she needed was an building falling on them now.

Tucked away in one of the back rooms, Carol blocked the doors and windows before laying Natasha down on the available couch. With all the adrenaline out of her system, Carol collapsed on the floor in front of the couch, and was out like a light.

 **~*~**  

Carol wasn't expecting much difference when she eventually woke back up. She was suddenly on the couch where Natasha had been, but her head was throbbing too much for her to do anything but look around.

"Hey, careful," a soothing voice said. Carol looked up and saw Natasha hovering over her. "You've been out for two days. How the hell did you even get us out of there on a broken leg?"

"Adrenaline." Carol's voice sounded weak, and she cringed a bit. She sounded as rough as she felt. "How are you?"

"I'm banged up, but I'm alright. Your side must've taken most of the damage. There's no way for us to check for anything internal, so we'll have to keep an eye out for anything," Natasha said. She was gently running her fingers through Carol's short blonde hair. "God, when I saw you just laying there, I thought you were dead. You weren't moving. I stared at you for a good ten minutes before I realised that you were breathing."

"Now you know how I felt seeing you in the truck."

"God, I knew it was a stupid idea to get in that thing. We're so lucky they didn't kill us."

"The wreck was awful," Carol confessed. "I held my breath and pretended to be dead, and it seemed to be enough for them. They didn't get too close to the truck, though."

"Oh, baby," Natasha breathed out, pressing a kiss to Carol's forehead before laying her own against it. "I've never been so scared, Carol. I was terrified of losing you for good."

"Hey, I'm okay. I'm right here." Carol reached up and grabbed Natasha's hand, gently squeezing it. "I'm alive, aren't I?"

Natasha let out a shaky breath, sitting up and letting her eyes roam over Carol. "I refuse to leave this building until you can walk on that leg."

"That'll take weeks–"

"I don't care." There was little room for argument in Natasha's voice, and Carol wasn't going to push the point. When Natasha made her mind up about something, very rarely did she change it. "I've looted this floor and the one above already. There wasn't much, but I was able to scrounge up a couple granola bars. Here."

Natasha handed one to Carol, who sat up on the couch with some difficultly. She practically inhaled the food, but it felt good to have something in her system. "What about you?"

"I ate one on the way down." Natasha sat next to Carol. "Look, I know this situation sucks, but we can't afford to have you keep walking on that leg."

"I'll slow us down, I know." Carol blew out a breath. "Why don't you try scooping out the other floors and see if it's safe for us to move up. I'd feel safer if we were on higher ground."

"I already planned on it. I wasn't sure when you were going to wake up, so I didn't want to go too far." Natasha reached over and grabbed Carol's backpack, which looked much smaller than before. "Can I just say that I'm amazed you were able to carry all this plus me on a broken leg. Adrenaline is a hell of thing."

"It was worth it." Carol looked over at Natasha, who turned her head to meet the other's eyes. They sat like that in silence a moment before Carol sighed and laid her head on Natasha's shoulder. "Thank you."

"I'd do anything for you, you know that."

A few days later, and Natasha was helping Carol up to a higher floor. The couch was pushed next to the window so Carol could easily keep a look out if people were wandering through. The city around them was in ruins. Different buildings falling apart of torn by the blasts from earlier destruction. Multiple vehicles and corpses scattered around on the abandoned roads. Carol spotted an old street lamp, the pole bent and the light having long given up its fight to stay on. Natasha mentioned there were corpses in some of the rooms. Some of them were dead infected or people who were bitten and didn't want to turn into that. She even mentioned a couple dead fireflies in an old closet.

"Must've gotten trapped," was all she said about it.

On one hand, Carol did feel a bit of guilt for having to kill to survive. Her hands haven’t been clean since the first time her, Nat, and Val had first snuck into the mall. Some days it felt like the blood never left from under her fingernails, forever stained red. Natasha didn't look like she minded much, but Carol knew her well enough that she felt guilty about all the killing as well. But when you had to do what you could to survive, guilt wasn't an emotion you could afford to have.

Natasha looked exhausted. With Carol out of commission for the most part, Natasha had been doing all the running and looting. Carol's leg was healed for the most part, but it still ached whenever she stood on it for too long. She mostly stayed behind and kept guard for their spot. It seemed like hunters were smart enough to keep out of the bombed zone, but every time a vehicle passed or voices were a bit too loud to be Natasha, a shiver ran down Carol's spine.

One night, when Carol's leg was nearly fully healed, the two of them walked up to the roof and sat down on the edge, looking out over the city. Carol still couldn't pressure on it for too long, but she knew if she tried being stubborn about it, it would only slow the healing down. Spring was in full effect around them, flowers and other plant life growing in between the cracks of what was left of human civilization before everything went to hell. It was beautiful in its own way. The land taking back what belonged to it.

A gentle breeze blew over them, bringing a smile to Carol's face as they sat in silence. The remnants of a fire smoldered behind them, the empty can of food they had split laying empty wherever Carol had tossed it. They usually always found a topic to talk about whenever they sat on the roof, but neither of them wanted to break the comfortable silence. No threat of hunters, infected, or fireflies. In the end, it was Carol who broke it.

"I never got around for properly thanking you for everything you've been doing," she said, smiling at Natasha. "It means a lot. I feel bad for not doing much because of my leg."

"Don't worry about it. We got lucky, you know. That it wasn't any worse than what it was." Natasha shrugged. "Besides, it was nice taking things slow for a change."

Carol nodded in agreement before scooting a tad bit closer. With a soft sigh, she laid her head on Natasha's shoulder, smiling when the older girl didn't flinch or move at the action.

"When you told me you had a crush on me when we were younger, did you mean that?" Natasha asked, her voice soft.

"I don't think it ever went away, if I'm being honest," Carol replied, shyly kissing her neck.

Natasha wrapped an arm around Carol, hand resting on her hip. "Okay," was all she said, gently squeezing the younger’s hip.

 **~*~**  

Carol had developed a bit of a limp, to her dismay. Natasha said something about it not healing entirely properly, but there wasn't a whole lot they could do. It didn't deter them any, but it annoyed Carol a bit.

"Pout all you want, but you can still walk. I'd consider that a success, if I were you," Natasha said, an eyebrow raised as they walked along a long stretch of road.

It had been Carol's idea to leave the city. As comfortable as it was, they were running low on supplies, and Natasha could only search so far before they needed to leave just to survive. While she did understand the reasoning, Natasha had protested a bit. They both got used to the routine they had developed.

"Well I know that, but I'll still pout." Carol childishly stuck her tongue out at Natasha, who just laughed. "So. What are the plans now?"

"Walk until we find a place to lay low for a while. Get supplies. You know, the usual."

Carol playfully rolled her eyes. "Excuse me for hoping for a slight change in plans."

"If it isn't broke, then don't fix it."

Shaking her head, Carol stared out at the broken buildings they passed. They looted where and when they could, but most of them the two women just passed through. Carol wasn't entirely sure where they were going, and Natasha didn't seem any closer in letting her in on the secret. Natasha had contacted Tony again when they were still in the offices, but didn't go into specifics about it. She had a hunch they were meeting him somewhere, but didn't know exactly where.

Shyly, Carol reached over and grabbed Natasha's hand. When the action wasn't denied, Carol smiled and laced their fingers together. "Thank you," she said softly, gently squeezing the older's hand.

Natasha didn't respond, but there was a small smile on her face anyway.

The two of them walked for a while before they came across an old school. There were buses and road blocks scattered all around the outside, and Carol could distantly hear the sound of infected nearby. Her and Natasha shared a look before cautiously walking forward. A few runners stumbled along in front of the school, and they were able to take them out quickly before walking further inside. Looking around, Carol had flashbacks of military school as they walked through the dimly lit hallways. Lockers were bent or broken, most of them busted open to see if there was anything useful tucked away inside. Curiosity got the best of her, and Carol jimmied a couple open with her knife.

"Imagine what this place would've been like before," Carol commented, running her hand along an old poster that announced an upcoming dance.

"Hope it wasn't anything like the school in the Zone."

Seeing the empty hallways reminded Carol a bit of the mall they went to as kids. The abandoned rooms and overturned furniture. It was almost sad to see it in such disrepair, but most things were. You were extremely lucky if you found something that didn't need fixing of some kind.

Walking into a random classroom, Carol couldn't help but smile at the set-up. Based on the posters, it was an English classroom before the school closed. Standing behind the front desk, Carol pictured a class full of students, either eager to learn or dreading it.

"You would've been a good teacher, I think," Natasha said, nose scrunching a little as her hand came away caked in dirt and dust.

"I like children," Carol said with a shrug. "Passing on what I know to the younger generation. It'd be cute."

Natasha opened her mouth to reply before a loud moaning rang throughout the empty hallways. They exchanged a panicked look before pulling out their guns and hiding behind a desk. Sounds of shuffling mixed with clicking and moaning sent Carol's nerves to stand at attention. Peeking over the desk, she saw a clicker make its way into the classroom. It didn't seem to notice either woman there, clicking in random directions. It must've heard them talking and came over.

Trying to sneak out quietly, the two of them slowly made their way out the door. Carol froze when she saw more at the end of the hallway. She tapped on Natasha's shoulder, gesturing the way they came. With a nod, Natasha slowly moved forward, hoping to find a way around all of them.

When they were near the exit, Natasha opened the door, both of them freezing when it let out a loud creak. Suddenly, the sound of infected got even louder, and Carol all but pushed Natasha out the door. No time to be subtle now. Just as she was almost through, an infected had gotten to her, its nails tight on Carol's exposed arm.

"Let go, you fucker," Carol yelled, yanking on her arm to bang the infected against the mostly closed door. She could feel blood coming out of a wound on her arm, seeming to only rile up the creatures more. Natasha came from seemingly nowhere, slicing through part of the runner's arm, and blocking the door closed as soon as Carol pulled her arm free.

"Are you okay?" Natasha asked instantly, eyeing the blood on Carol's hand and arm.

"Shaken, mostly, but I should be okay." Carol let out a shaky breath, shaking the chopped arm from where it was still gripping her arm.

"There's a river nearby. You can clean off your arm there."

Natasha seemed just as shaken, but didn't show it as she lead Carol down to the mentioned river. As Carol cleaned off her arm, she paused a minute to notice the small bite mark on the side of her hand. Eyes widening, Carol hid it as best she could as she wrapped her hand in some gauze Natasha had given her. It was useless to panic. Carol hadn't been fast enough to get through the door, and she was paying the price. She couldn't help but think her improperly healed leg had something to do with it.

"I hate summer," Natasha said in lieu of greeting. "Too damn hot."

"It barely started," Carol said, smirking a little.

Natasha let out a quiet laugh and nodded. She looked at Carol a minute before kissing her cheek. "C'mon, it's nearly sundown. Let's find someplace to sleep for the night."

Still shaken, Carol just followed.

Neither of them could sleep that night. Despite what Carol had told herself earlier, she was panicking. They found an old garage to stay in for the night, but Carol knew if she didn't get as far away from Natasha as soon as she could, she'd end up either biting her or getting killed by her. Neither option sounded particularly favorable. Before she knew it, the sun had risen. Natasha didn't seem to want to interrupt Carol, and Carol was too busy worrying to say anything. She had taken a look at the bite on her arm, and it had grown worse over the night. By the looks of it, she only had a few hours at most.

"Nat," she said, stopping suddenly. Natasha quirked an eyebrow at her, but didn't say anything. To Carol's insistence, all of their valuables were in Natasha's backpack. Carol had the wrap still on her hand, not wanting to accidentally infect Natasha after the fact. "Thank you, you know. For everything."

"You already said that."

"I know, I'm just...I mean it."

The two of them were quiet, just staring at one another. Natasha's gaze flickered down to Carol's wrapped hand, and her face suddenly turned into that of understanding. "Carol–"

"Don't. Please," Carol said. She could feel her eyes already filling with tears. "Make this easy for me."

Natasha's jaw clenched, but she nodded anyway. "Thank you, too. For...everything."

With a shaky smile, Carol turned around and started walking back the way they came.

**Author's Note:**

> i do appreciate comments 💛 even if this is the worst thing youve ever read 😆
> 
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